I wrote Dying in My Timeline in 2016 when my name was still Candace D. Henry. I was so hurt by what was happening, and then there was one case that shook me to my core and pushed my tears into words.

When I released it, some people thought the last section of my poem was creative overkill, and I had to correct them because it was based on an actual case. The victim was Ronnie Shumpert, and those things really happened to him.

His cousin reached out to me to thank me for bringing attention to his brutal death when it didn’t hit the timelines in the same way as the other murders of that time period, because there was no video evidence of Ronnie’s torture-consumed murder at the hands of law enforcement.

I’m very calculated in the way I consume news to make sure I maintain my balance. I didn’t even watch the videos of Renee Good, however yesterday I saw the death of Alex Pretti from multiple angles, and it made me feel the same way I felt in 2016.

For more information on what happened to Ronnie Shumpert, check out this article.

I’m thrilled to share a new direction for AetherCandace.com, kicking off with this live video: “Redefining Love After an Intense Healing Journey.” This conversation is all about the multi-faceted nature of love following deep personal work—from self-love and the unique love we share with our children, to the complex relationships with adult parents, vital friendships, and romantic partners. Going forward, you can expect more interactive, live discussions like this one, as I move away from static text posts to build a more dynamic and engaging space with you.

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

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I also want to give a shoutout to a dear friend who keeps inviting me to Indianapolis poetry open-mics. I think she subconsciously reminded me that I’m safe and can write again. Thank you to the Divine and the Angels that work through her because the truth is, I’ve always been safe, I just forgot who I was and stopped trusting.

I have yet to attend an open mic session, but I will. I’ve got lots of published and unpublished material to choose from.

Shout-out to the woman who inspired this specific poem. I love her at 360 degrees.

Isaac from Bright Brains recently interviewed me and it was probably the most fun and interesting podcast interview I’ve done in a while. We discussed:

• Reiki and its impact on mental health

• The severing of the mind-body connection in society

• Endocrine-agitating substances and their impact on reproductive development

• Sourcing authentic crystals and tapping into their energy

• Workplace cults

Let me know how you feel about the episode in the comments.

Canvas Rebel recently interviewed me for their article titled Mission-Driven Brands & Creators. I’ve been on a mission of supporting people in their healing, awakenings, and ascensions for a long time and I’m blessed to say almost 10 years with my business. I have a vision that I am still working toward, but as of right now, I’m doing far more than I imagined I would do.  

This journey has had a lot of turbulence but I’ve stayed the course because what I do is bigger than me. I take time out to cry and lick my wounds when life gets hard, but it’s never the mission that brings me down. It’s always the personal stuff that hurts. However, it has its benefits in the long run. The strength, resilience, and knowledge that I have gained through the trials and tribulations is something that I would never give back and it makes me a better person for my family, friends, clients, and myself.

Bridging Metaphysics and Business Technology 

I enjoyed the interview with Canvas Rebel because it is rare that I get to speak on my metaphysical missions and business technology views. I greatly appreciate the opportunity. The world of metaphysics and the world of tech can seem so far apart at times, but there are some parallels between the worlds of business technology and metaphysics. This is why I created Business Lair - to help people in the realms of metaphysics and business bridge the gaps and see the patterns and similarities to use them to their advantage. More articles for Business Lair are underway.

Many people are of the mind that woo woo - metaphysical people are all about tree hugging and I’m here to say that I am, and I am also about making sure I have a solid hot spot or wifi when I’m near the trees to make sure business continues to run smoothly. Although from time to time a disconnected tech cleanse is necessary. The start of  Soul Trine/Cloud 9.5 was birthed during a forced tech cleanse. I did a standard update on my phone and it never turned back on. I had insurance and it took three weeks for me to get another phone back. 

I had a laptop and internet at the house. My remote and in-person client meetings continued. The difference was the break from the constant notifications and responses gave me space to be creative again. My world was overloaded with my phone and I was missing all the signs and Divine messages that help me with personal development as well as business ideas.

If you are interested in learning how to use and access your natural gifts for expanded business or personal development, message me. 

For now, check out my latest interview with Canvas Rebel.

Providing Wellness Support for Business Professionals

With more than two decades of marketing, sales, and entrepreneurship experience, I have a soft spot for the people who work in the corporate and entrepreneurship worlds. These types of positions can be very rewarding, but they can also do a number on the psyche. There are some amazing people who are great at their jobs and struggle with the covert and overt corporate politics concerns. They were excited to do the work, to sell, to network, but the corporate political climate can be stifling. I could write a series of articles on my experiences and the experiences of the people I have supported through this turbulance.

Another factor that impacts the enjoyment and performance of work is the intensity of ones personal life. I’ve experienced this and I have assisted my clients and even past coworkers with concerns that arose from time to time.

During my last position in sales, I worked with a woman who had a great sales performance record prior to our meeting. When I met her she had experienced a tank in performance and was trying to figure out what happened. In conversation, she learned about my business and what I do to support people. She took down my information, but never called. Over time, she would approach me at work and tell me pieces of her life.

One day her back was against the wall with her numbers and she asked if we could go to the wellness room for lunch and talk through some things. She revealed some heavy details of her life that are quite uncommon but sadly the things she said weren’t new to me. We could have sat there and talked the whole time, but I transitioned our time together to some quick and impactful wellness activities.

We focused on release techniques, centering activities, and a quick meditation to get her head back in the game. This woman hadn’t sold a deal in weeks, but after our brief lunch session, she sold two deals with a bewildered confidence that I will never forget.

Knowing what I know about the world, spirituality and metaphsyics, it would be easy to take my knowledge and isolate myself from the world and only hang out with people who are on a similar spiritual path. People do this all the time. That’s not my style at all. I have an appreciation for the differences in others.

I’ve seen some heartbreaking situations arise from the stress associated with the places we go to provide for ourselves and our loved ones and I have always provided services for people who want to get through the workday in a better place or who want support in getting and keeping their head in the game for peak performance.

What do you do to improve performance? Are you comfortable using wellness and metaphysics techniques at work?

In recent years I’ve heard a very unique debate about prayer. For most of my life, I’ve heard people asking for prayer during hard times and good times to achieve their goals. In churches, they have prayer lines and lists of people to pray for when they are unwell. However, recent concerns have put some additional questions in my head about “praying for” someone.

Despite what many people think they know about me, I believe prayer is a powerful spiritual tool. I’ve studied a great deal over the years and my favorite book on prayer is The Energy of Prayer: How to Deepen Your Spiritual Practice by Thich Nhat Hanh. Many people on this side of the world know him for one of his most popular best sellers, Living Buddha, Living Christ.

As a person who is often asked about my position on spiritual concepts, the most popular question regards prayer vs. meditation. I consider both spiritual tools and one is not better than the other. Although there are many forms of meditation, meditation provides the opportunity to intentionally listen to the Divine presence that many refer to as God. Prayer is the direct outgoing communication with the Divine presence, often referred to as God.

As an energy healer and Reiki Master, I often work with people, whose crown chakras are blocked and imbalanced. Most times they are aware of this and book sessions because they notice a disconnect from the Divine. There are plenty of causes for this. Subscribe to the Soul Trine blog for chakra and energy healing post updates (FREE). My job isn’t to judge how they became blocked and imbalanced but to support them in clearing the way for their connection to the Divine.

Prayer Perspectives

A few years back I started hearing and seeing debates on whether or not it is okay to “let” others pray for you. It was off-putting because whenever I prayed for someone it was coming from a good place. However, points were made.

“Don’t let someone pray for you because you don’t know their true intentions.”

“Don’t let just anyone pray for you because you don’t know their relationship with God.”

The most interesting statement came from a woman who said praying for her without her consent was on the same level as cursing someone without their consent. It struck a chord with me, but I’ve heard people use the word prayer as a passive-aggressive weapon.

I’ve seen some of the fakest people, especially the ones who don’t like me say, “Praying for you!!” if they were to learn of a concern connected to me or to attempt to end a disagreement say, “I’m praying for you,” with the most condescending vocal tone and expression on their face.

As a person who values their spiritual existence, I can’t see why I would lie about praying for someone or using it as a passive-aggressive tool. When I experience this foolishness, I briefly consider if a person has always been fake with and about their relationship with their Divine connection or if they are planning on attempting to curse me with their prayers later. Knowing the negative energy that they had for me in the moment or on any other day, “Would I want those prayers?” Hell, no. All of this reminds me of a Key & Peele skit, where they portray church ladies named Georgina and Esther who are going over all that they plan to accomplish “with their prayers.” 🤣😭🤣 NSFW!!! NSFC!!!!

A phrase that has cheapened the idea of prayer is the term “Thoughts and Prayers” after repetitive tragic events. It’s such a cliche and trite statement for two actions (prayer and thought) that can steer the trajectory of people’s lives and events. I’m at a place where all I can do is shake my head in disgust when people say this after families have been destroyed. I’m not against guns either. The lack of empathy is disturbing.

Conflict and Prayer

About 15 years ago a friend died a tragic violent death. Prior to his death, we hadn’t talked for some months. I was friends with his “girlfriend” as well and it had been just that long since I spoke with her. When I found out he died I naturally reached out to her first. After listening to her story, it seemed like everyone was against her and she continuously asked for prayer to make it through the roadblocks in getting his funeral together despite the adversity she was experiencing. The adversity didn’t make sense, but she kept asking for prayer stating her position as his woman who just wanted to see him sent off in the right way. I prayed for her because I knew them and trusted her.

Long story short, they broke up months ago and I was unaware. He had left her for a new girlfriend. His mother was too weak from grief and her own prior struggles. She couldn’t stand up for her son in his death and most of his family was from another state. Thankfully, I also contacted his daughter’s mother to offer my condolences and offered her my home to stay in while she was in town. The person I had called friend was now his “ex-girlfriend” and she highjacked his death services, had him cremated, had a wake, and a funeral service. His family from the other state came to the funeral service at the last minute and stood up at the end to say their peace because they felt slighted. The new girlfriend stood up and spoke about his character and the changes he made since she knew him, but she never mentioned a title for their relationship.

Everything came to light a few days after the funeral. From our initial conversation about his death, the “ex-girlfriend” kept trying to pin his murder on an associate that we all knew. The associate showed up to every service and gathering. He walked in the door claiming his innocence every time. He was the only one who knew the truth about the ending with the ex-girlfriend and his relationship with the new girlfriend. After the services, he called his daughter’s mother and broke everything down to her. I heard her scream from a bedroom in my house because all the information hit her so hard at once. With the new information, hindsight hit all of us hard.

The new girlfriend was in a completely different circle. She had an apartment with a doorman in the same building as a popular famous billionaire black woman. Our deceased friend had spent the months prior to his murder getting his life upgraded. This is why his “ex-girlfriend” handled things the way she did - a combination of jealousy, ego, and evil.

There is much more to this story. Key people and details were left out for the sake of time and space. You are probably wondering how someone who is not married could accomplish so much. The ex-girlfriend scammed her way through the whole experience and she did not act alone. If you want more details, just ask. I’ll write a whole blog post on it.

Prayer and Energy Requests

After this incident, I stopped praying for people in the same way. If someone is in conflict with another person or situation, I listen without judgment. My prayer will be that the situation resolves at its highest and best resolution and that the person requesting prayer receives clarity.

Never will I blindly pray for a person over a conflict situation when my emotions are high. I need to gather, ground, and center my energy first. Grief is a very powerful emotion. It is very strong, raw, and wild. Manipulative people can direct this energy in their favor. This is why you see some of the craziest fallouts and unlikely pairings after a death, tragic incident, or loss by other means. People are being led by the nose when they are most vulnerable.

Asking for prayers isn’t something I do on a regular basis. My prayer requests are very selective. I know a prayer warrior when I see one. Energy alchemists are easy for me to spot as well. The level of discernment for energy is the same as it is for prayer. Asking for a specific type of energy from a select person or people is another approach.

In supporting people in my personal circles, I have to approach everything on a case-by-case basis. When people close to me are going through a hard time like grief, I ask if they are comfortable with me praying with them. Grief could mean the sudden illness of someone, the loss of a relationship, or the diminished health of a loved one. Praying with people who have similar intentions is a powerful experience. The drawbacks come when you are praying with people who don’t have your best intentions at heart. Unfortunately, when emotions are high, this can be difficult to spot.

If someone is processing trauma, I hold space. I sit with them in reassuring silence. If they want to talk, I will talk. If they want to sit in silence, that is fine as well.

When someone is praying for a goal, I ask questions about what they see for the intended outcome after the goal has been accomplished. I visualize what they expess and pray for that. Asking deeper questions is important because I would not want my vision for the success of the goal to interfere with theirs. If their goal was to win a settlement and their success vision for themselves was a Birkin bag and my vision was land, it would not be my place to interject my vision on theirs.

In deciding which type of prayer to use for prayer requests, I move with my spirit. If I am called to pray for them with words directly channeled to them, I will. Although, if I am pulled to read to them from a specific book, I will do that as well.

Books of Prayer

Some of my personal connections are Western Christians and others are mystics who practice a myriad of spiritual practices. I found that Christian texts translated directly from Arameic to English and/or texts that have not been influenced by the Council of Nicaea, Reformation, The Age of Faith, The Spanish Inquisition, colonization, The Atlantic Slave Trade, or any period where the words of Jesus Christ were tortured and forced upon others align more with what I’ve learned from the metaphysical and mystic side of spirituality.

When it comes to any type of spiritual practice, I make sure to tap into the history of the creation of the spiritual practice. The history of Christianity and its move from an Eastern religion to a Western religion that came back and influenced Eastern countries through colonization is quite interesting. The translations, information, and testaments have been hoarded and manipulated to appease the agendas of kingdoms and movements and to keep information that does not align with the ability to control the masses.

Prayers of the Cosmos, a book that translates the lines of “The Lord’s Prayer” from its original Aramaic text into English, while also adding more context from the Aramaic language. Words from other languages, especially languages that are of the Western part of the world, don’t translate to English word for word. In Prayers of the Cosmos, Neil Douglas-Klotz, references a quote from Dr. George M. Lamsa in the introduction “According to Lamsa in New Testament Origin, ‘Not a word of either the Old or the New Testament was originally written in Greek or any other European language. The theory that Jesus’ teaching was first recorded in Greek was undoubtedly prompted by anti-Semitism…. Prior to the British occupation of India and Egypt, the Western world knew hardly anything about the East. Almost everything that was written in Germany, England, and America relative to Eastern Christianity was conjectural or biased. Therefore the whole body of evidence relative to the Bible theology and the people of the East must be re-examined in the light of the present findings and the Aramaic language’ (pp. 1, 17-18).”

I recorded a segment from Prayers of The Cosmos to give you an idea of a prayer I pray with loved ones.

What are Semitic languages?

Another Aramaic-to-English book I work with for prayer is the Holy Bible: From the Ancient Eastern Text: George M. Lamsa's Translation From the Aramaic of the Peshitta. Many people use specific verses from the Christian bible for prayer. For some verses, you will see major differences in translation in comparison to the King James Version and other modern translations, while others will have slight variances.

At times an energy adjustment is necessary for a situation and a Mantra said at the correct vibration and the right amount of repetitions will assist in turning a situation around. Healing Mantras: Using Sound Affirmations for Personal Power, Creativity, and Healing and Meditative Mind are great resources for mantras and their proper pronunciations.

A book that supports my connect-the-dots form of spirituality, which is based on finding how we are all connected as opposed to harping on our differences as humans is THE BRIDGE OF STARS: 365 Prayers, Blessings and Meditations from Around the World.

I have other books I reference for the purpose of prayer for myself and my loved ones, but the best prayers are the ones that are channeled through the heart and the crown. My issue is that I need to start recording them so that they can be listened to more than once.

Be discerning with prayer - whether giving or receiving. We can only vouch for our own intentions.

Check out the last video I created on the impact of Western Christianity, among other topics.

@aethercandaceReplying to @usedfridgehoe13 I appreciate you caring enough to view the documentary. #banished #goodlordbird #johnbrown #BlackHistory #generationalwealth #religion #colonization #missionaries

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Sometimes the biggest shadow in your motherhood ray is the person you created children with and you may not realize it until you get them out of your light. I share these stories because I refuse to let another generation move forward into their season of procreation without having access to my words. In healing, I’ve noticed that I’m not the only one who has had these experiences. People are so ashamed that they tuck them deep down and away, leaving the next generation as prey. Much gratitude and respect to the ones who pop out to support the survivors after the fires start, but we need more mama bears talking to the children about preventing these fires. I’m not ashamed. I’m embattled. 

My rage and embattlement come from knowing that there will be a mother of a son out there who supports and encourages her son’s mistreatment toward her own kind. Enraged that there will be a girl or woman who has poor boundaries and accepts love-bombing and trauma bonding as a relationship foundation, shrinking herself for what looks like love in the presence of her children - sowing seeds for a repeating cycle. This is the war I’ve fought within myself and I refuse to watch my children endure the same struggles.

I’ve mentioned this in previous writings, but when my oldest daughter was one, I received a download in the wee hours of the morning. The download said that I would write books for my daughters. I didn’t get another daughter until 6 years later. Today my oldest daughter is 19. She is at the age where she calls me when her friends are going through a crisis to offer them support and advice. I created a separate blog just for this because the questions are questions women have asked me since I was in high school. Many of these issues are not based on age. They are based on one's level of self-love vs the manipulation/abuse received vs the strength of boundaries. 

The crazy thing is that I have published two books. The books don’t explain much. They are poems that reflect the emotions I felt while enduring a traumatic period in my life. They have been helpful to women. Some have reached out to tell me how I gave them the courage to leave their abusive relationships, which was empowering and then weird to me because I didn’t have the courage to leave the abusive relationship that inspired the books. 

When I think about my first marriage what I find most upsetting is how the marriage impacted me as a mother - how it impacted my mental health - how I wasn't fully present for my daughters - how my anger at him tricked down to them.  

After a typical day, I would retreat to my bedroom and have them play in their rooms. On good days, I would invite them to my room while I lay in bed and zoned out. On a great day have a dance party, watch their favorite shows, or go get ice cream. We had times of fun and we had love, but with a healed/healing mind and heart, I wish I could go back and inject way more light into the shadows of my motherhood. I hurt my oldest and when I left I hurt both of them. They are seven years apart. The pains they experienced from me weren’t the same. My fuse was short and I had no patience.

You can love your child to the moon and back, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t feel it. In healing, growth, and atonement, I’ve had to ask myself “What does your love look and feel like today?” These days my motherhood looks and feels like molasses with a longer fuse - observant, check-ins, group therapy, analysis, research, healing

How Would You Mother Through This Storm?

I would come home from work plus hours of traffic to a home full of men and strangers. My baby girls hanging around and him yapping his mouth with recycled stories where he was always the victor. My dining room table was barely used for eating. It was a place for him to entertain his followers and to rest items that were unsafe for children. 

Coming home from work felt awful. I worked at Fortune 500s and within different facets of corporate life. The actual work was easy and fun but the corporate politics was a disgusting film that I just wanted to wash off as soon as I got home -  especially after a few hours of Atlanta traffic. A home that had the vibe of a frat house in my 30s was not on my life bingo card, especially while raising young ladies. I grew up in a quiet middle-class home with two working parents and one sibling. The house I shared with my first husband had a level of politics that was draining. From end to end, I was left with little energy for my daughters after coming home from work and walking into the fuckery.

Most weekends the kids went to one of their grandparent's homes. This is when things would get extra weird. He would get even more disrespectful toward me and our home environment. I would address the latest transgressions and the end of our relationship and he would keep our house full of people to try to avoid confrontations from me. All the while he was grooming people to believe I was cool with his dealings with other women, keeping a fraternity environment in the house, and convincing people he was the bread-winner when it was my 9-5 and business(s) that supported a grown man and my daughters - we only shared one daughter. 

When I say I had a horrible marriage many people have no idea what I was dealing with. They think it was just the run-of-the-mill cheating, but oh boy I'll just run down a fraction of a general list and I wonder if you could function through the bullshit I experienced at the hands of my 1st husband. We were together 5 years before we got married and it would be another two years before we had a child. In early 2011 I had a big increase in income. I was able to move our family near the GA Dome to be more centrally located for jobs. That’s when his behavior started to take a nosedive. Three months after the move, I found out I was three months pregnant. The nose dive accelerated. 

What makes all of this worse to me is the fact that he isn’t an unskilled person. He is one of the best sound engineers and music producers in Atlanta. He does amazing graphic design and video production work. He is a brilliant and talented person. When we met I was working in the entertainment industry so when we unified, it made sense. I later realized he had underlying desires that would eventually consume him.

This is just a fraction of some of the worst things that happened after we were married and had our first child together:

• He decided he wanted to be a porn star

• He decided he wanted a porn production and adult entertainment company

• He kept a mini blow torch on the table with paraphernalia around the children

• He kept lots of men in the house around my daughters all the time

• He refused to keep a man away from the house who was looking at my daughters like they were dinner (I touched on that in this article)

• He refused to get a job or write a resume

• He never made enough money for 50/50, 75/25, or 90/10.

• His mother was upset with me for holding him accountable for paying at least 50/50

• His mother told me her son isn't supposed to work a regular job

• I walked into the living room with the kids in the morning to take them to school to see various random prostitutes lounging around that he brought to the house I paid for in the car I paid for

• He allowed his friends to shoot pornography in our house and was upset with me when I'd find the footage on his phone 

• He spent time with a woman he was cheating with and her children while claiming he wasn't cheating and that he was trying to be a good black man in the community while also having a firstborn son across town whom he only spent time with when his own mother organized it

• He lied about cheating while also being angry at me for not supporting his adult entertainment business and requesting that I befriend his employees to the point where I felt sorry for one when she had nowhere to stay and invited her to live in my home for her to later confess to me that they had been sleeping together the whole time he was claiming to be a good black man in the community 

• Taking money out of my bank account to help his “employees” pay bills

• Ignoring my depression, anxiety, and insomnia diagnosis 

• Being angry at me for how my mental breakdowns impacted my ability to work

• Getting carjacked in the car I paid for on the same street we lived on by a rivaling pimp over one of his “employees” 

• Letting his “employees” drive my car

• Not coming home for days at a time

• He broke furniture and put holes in walls because I handed him separation papers 

• He beat me and choked me for ending the relationship then cried as if he had been deeply wronged (repeatedly)

• He beat my ass, choked me, and blocked me from leaving the house until I was backed into a corner in the basement while he punched me every time I made contact with the door

• He invited a woman I asked him to stay away from to a party. She showed up and walked right into our section. He pretend like it wasn’t her, even though she had been a concern since I was pregnant with our daughter.

• He continued to text the woman after he agreed to avoid her

• After I discovered he was still in contact with the woman he told me it was my fault he was in contact with her.

• He felt like it was a good idea to try to put his arms around me even though I told him to back away.

• I finally snapped and punched him in the face

• We fought like men in the street in the house while my daughters were home and my oldest saw the fight.

• I was temporarily unable to tolerate light in my right eye.

• He was temporarily unable to move his neck.

• I called the woman to see why she thought it was a good idea to contact my husband if she knew we weren’t friends.

• The next day I saw text messages from him to her apologizing and saying she “didn’t deserve that”

• I snapped again and the next thing I knew I was dripping my blood on his face while he slept

  • I had cut my forearm horizontally three times to the fat with kindergarten scissors

• He woke up and beat the shit out of me

• I begged him to just let me go

• He said, “Fine”

• I told him, “I am not as strong as you think I am”

• My wound was dressed with Bleed Stop and butterfly stitches

• I received no mental or physical healthcare for multiple reasons

• He was obsessed with trying to have sex with me after the incident even though I didn’t want it.

• I was afraid his mother would use my mental health concerns against me to try to take my child

Soon after, I took my children to my parent’s house and left the country. I was terrified of what I did to myself and scared of him. The children were in the house when the last incident happened, but they never saw anything. However, the energy of the house was crushing and they knew something was wrong. Because of this, I was ashamed of myself as a mother. It felt like he was a black hole sucking the life out of my universe. Even when the days were hard, I always felt good about at least having my babies, but the progression of dealing with him and the incident made me scared to be a mother. 

My parents weren’t perfect but I felt better about them being with them vs him and his mother. He and his mother soon told all of our mutual friends lies and even my parents a lot of false, self-serving stories. Most of the mutuals turned their back on me, and for a while, even my parents. This was by design by him and his mother to maintain their narrative. He and his mother have a reputation and eventually real people came forward to tell me Earth-shaking truths. By the time I came back to the States for good more people came forward and the stories started layering I soon realized I was in a fake relationship and most people knew it except me.

Disinheriting His Shadow

I spent so much time healing through this period in my life. I was seeing a psychiatrist, taking prescribed medication and herbs,  seeing multiple spiritual healers, participating in various ceremonies, and even walking on hot coals when all I needed to do was leave him. It may seem so simple to a regular person, but for me, I felt like I had nowhere to go, my relationship with my parents wasn’t the best and even though I made money, he kept it tied up with probation fees, various legal fines, keeping up his false narratives, and paying people back when he messed up business deals. Aside from the money, I was in a dynamic trauma bond that was a disgusting carousel that I wanted to jump off of. 

When I think back on how he cried after he beat me, I wonder why his tears were more important than mine in my mind. Why did I have it in me to hold him after he destroyed me? Why did he get so much of my time - over a decade and my daughters got to see the worst of me? Why wasn’t I strong enough to just walk away with my girls and leave it all behind right after I had the baby? Long after the end, I faced the fact that what I had with him was not real. While I thought he loved me and just had childhood trauma that he had to overcome, like most of the world, WE had nothing. I was just a cog in his wheel that was too weak to walk away. He fought me to stay, not because he desired me, but because I and the fruits of my hard work fit into the story he wanted the world to believe. 

After I was back, one of his childhood friends asked me why I never spoke up sooner. I was afraid no one would believe me because he and his mom liked to get the jump on stories as fast as possible.  Even though I watched them destroy people at their most vulnerable moments, I never thought they would do it to me.  His childhood friend gave me some other earth-shattering truths about staying for so long and my obvious lack of self-love. As a father of a daughter, he felt it was necessary to say his peace because of his love for both of my daughters. 

Come to find out, my 1st husband’s antics weren’t new and exclusive to me. I may have lost mutual friends when we broke up, but people came forward after they knew I was back. I wasn’t special. He was shooting pornography long before he met me, getting violent with women, driving women to the abortion clinics, love-bombing, and pretending to be a “nice guy.” I just hung on too long. There were multiple women from his past who had emotional concerns and left town after dealing with him. 

@aethercandace#stitch with @Caviar Craig #mentalhealth #narctok #dv #redflags

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I once believed he cared about his blood daughter at least. He always puts on a good show, especially when his mother is in his ear. The first vocal conversation he had with her this year was on the 11th of May. Months have gone by with no response to her texts or calls since the year started. He only spoke to her today because I sent other members of his family photos and updates on her recent achievements. Whatsapp moves fast. He was at his mother’s house when he called her.

Don’t Save Him

I saw the hurt little boy in him and wanted to be there for him and support him through his healing. I even took him to a series of ceremonies, but if someone doesn’t want to get better they won’t. He believes he is perfect. I’ve actually heard him say, “Everyone else is crazy.” 

I don’t know what it would take for him to change. I used to want him to change for his daughter and now I realize she doesn’t need that. He is just fine right there being a living breathing example of what to stay away from.

The time I spent licking my wounds and trying to heal someone so devoted to their vices and shortcomings could have been dedicated to expanding my self-love and pouring more love and attention into my children. They didn’t deserve a shell of a mother, a wounded mother or to watch their mother betray herself regularly.

What Love Looks Like Today

When I got them back together it felt like a breath of fresh air for me and my 2nd daughter. She was the mastermind behind us coming to Indianapolis to visit and not going back to Georgia to live.  She got a better version of me. By the time she was born, I was four years deep in my healing journey. My first daughter later admitted that she approached me with caution when we all got back together. While I was pregnant and through the 5th month of my 3rd daughter's life I was immersed in cognitive therapy. I attended sessions 2-3 times a week. When I started my maternity appointments I was off the charts on the depression scale and the doctor's office staff ran me down on the way to the parking garage. I am grateful they did. If I hadn’t gone through that level of therapy I would have been cautious too. Prior to our coming together again, I signed my 1st daughter up for cognitive therapy as well. Today, I have all the girls in therapy - even the four-year-old. Their mental health means the world to me. 

I noticed while I was standing there holding my abuser, some women and men in his life would come around and soon leave. They saw through his bullshit quicker than I did and they had no attachments. They never got close enough to get caught up. A few years back I connected with one of our mutuals who I had blocked everywhere. He was rehashing the most recent ways in which my first husband betrayed him, got a couple of thousand dollars out of him, and how he knew he would never see the money again. I asked him why he continues to stay connected to him. He said, “You got out of the cult, Candyman. The rest of us didn’t escape like you.”

I’m still in therapy and I’m also still discovering things my 1st husband and his mother did to me and my family. I attended a funeral in December and even more was revealed. My daughters continue to recall hurtful incidents and conversations that he and his mother had with them. I love them through it and apologize. I apologize for not being strong enough to be the mother they deserved. I apologize for not protecting them the way they needed. I’m very candid with them about mistakes I’ve made, signs I ignored, and what I would have done differently knowing what I know now. Having a solid foundation for love helps keep all types of fucked up relationships away - platonic, romantic, familial, and work. That’s what I was missing. That is what made it easy for me to run into relationships where love didn’t exist.

I was raised by a woman who didn’t love herself and a man who proved that he felt the same way about her and her children who also happened to be his children. Just because there are two married people in the household doesn’t mean it’s a safe space for children. My first depression diagnosis was at 15 years old.

Topics include:

• Holding Space

• Writing

• Poetry

• Raising Your Frequency

• Confidentiality Among Family and Friends

• Tactics for expressing yourself when you feel like you have no one to turn to

When we speak of Black History Month, there are many different directions we can take on the topic. No matter the sentiment, this is a topic I enjoy discussing because it is who I am and these discussions were a part of my upbringing.  As a child, I spent my Sundays learning about Black Historical experiences that spanned the globe. Like many black children of my generation, my education on the topic of Black History spanned more than a month and gave me unique perspectives that impacted how I navigated the world.

When it comes to history some people in the world forget the value of context. The context impacts everyone. It can show us how far we as humanity have come and also where things may have remained stagnant. The context helps us navigate the future. Balance is the key. 

Career Day - The Black History Incubator

Almost 10 years ago, I attended my daughter’s Career Day when we lived in Atlanta. The neighborhood has since gentrified, but even at the time, the neighborhood had a diverse mix of people from an economic perspective, although the majority of the students at the school qualified for free or reduced lunch. This school was close to the GA Dome and was sponsored by a major corporation so the students didn’t lack anything regarding technology and other STEM tools. Like most 4th and 5th graders, they had a high tolerance for popular culture, video games, and the flash of reality TV. This was Atlanta so; a great deal of popular culture was also within arm’s reach. 

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During this time I was working at a Fortune 100 company, running my own business, and spending time at a tech incubator in Midtown Atlanta called Hypepotamus. Tech startups were under one roof collaborating, sharing ideas, wins, and connections while looking for the best ways to take their visions to the next level. Every color of humanity was there in harmony creating the technology we are using today. For context, while visiting the location with a friend, I was invited to an impromptu party to celebrate one of the founders within the Hypepotamus incubator program and their recent multi-million dollar deal with Google.

Experiencing the tech environment of Hypepotamus made me think of how much opportunity these children had, just a few miles from their school, but I wondered if they knew it was there. Inspiring a generation requires influence and influence requires a repetitive presence. Their favorite rappers and reality TV stars were a part of the city’s culture. They had a hypnotic influence over the way they behaved in the classroom and amongst their peers, but did they know about the people behind the tech they used then or would eventually use it in the future? Did they know they could be a part of it too? Were they aware of the Black History that was being made just miles from them in all facets of business, all around the city?

I created a way of catching the attention of the children, and getting them to think beyond just making it through the day's assignments. I offered Google Play gift cards to the students who could answer the following questions best: 

• Marketing - “What could you do to get more children to purchase this gift card?”

• Business - “If you could start a business today, what would it be and why?”

The activity was fun. Their answers were interesting. My child and everyone in her science club were fully engaged. The other children looked to each other for answers. They were very connected to their peer groups and “being cool.” As a mom, I’d never want the entertainment of children to be focused on one thing or another, I just ask for balance. If we speak of Black history in its beauty, progress, and pain, we also bring forth the same for the present  - that way people don’t feel so distant from their possibilities. If children are being fed celebrity culture, I want them to also receive information on tech and art culture as well. The programming they receive is very beneficial to them in learning how to live a life of destructive drama and to fulfill activities that are degenerative to themselves and their communities, but at the same time the news of STEM, business, and art advancements get a pin drops value of influence compared to what reality tv and celebrity culture receive. As a society, the most recent advancement in balance is TikTok’s STEM feed.

I came up with an interactive after-school program that would give the children an opportunity to express themselves creatively and also understand the different facets of business from a design concept to launching a fully functional e-commerce website. The principal of the school was all over it and offered me the opportunity to run the program after school and even in the summer. Unfortunately, I did not have the time to execute this mission. I still had my job, my business and my family to manage. To this day, I would still love to implement this program and include an appearance from a local tech influencer. This program would benefit children around the country and provide them with a balance that makes different opportunities tangible. As a society we are beyond the idea of children feeling like athletics and entertainment are the only ways to change their trajectory in life.  The influence of people near them who are making progressive advancements for them, and humanity needs to be turned up a few notches. 

Black History Making Tech Founders and Influencers That Your Children Should Know About

Many parents and people who work with children aren’t in the tech world. They work hard and like me, they have multiple plates spinning at once. The best way to keep the information flowing toward the children is to share it with more than LinkedIn. I am going to start sharing the articles and advancements I see on LinkedIn to Facebook and other social platforms where my friends who are connected to children and aren’t in the business/tech space spend more time.  My congratulatory reactions and comments on LinkedIn are preaching to the choir. If I don’t have time to run my nationwide business program for the children of the USA, the least I can do is share information and contribute to the awareness of career and tech advancements. 

I put together a list of a few people I have met over the years - some who I know on a personal level and others who I admire from afar, who children should be aware of in the tech/business space. Feel free to add more people in the comments. It is more than okay to add their LinkedIn and website links.

Influencers and Founders

One of the companies I met at Hypepotomus in 2013 was Myavana. Led by Candace Mitchell Harris since 2012, the concept of Myavana was amazing then and her recent partnerships with Ulta Beauty and Brain Trust Fund are well deserved.  | LinkedIn |

Michael Berhane is the CEO behind People of Color in Tech (POCIT). POCIT, an award-winning career and media platform, based in London, provides extensive global news on tech companies and their founders, careers in tech as well as advancements and legal updates. POCIT is also a great place to find tech-based jobs. | LinkedIn |

Melodee Henderson is the tech, media, and entertainment attorney to know. She is sought after for her legendary work within the tech, media, and entertainment industries. When people are looking for a corporate attorney, I always recommend Melodee and send them her LinkedIn, but I never forget to note that she worked at Zoom before and through the eye of the storm that is COVID. 

Even though Melodee is a corporate giant, she is passionate about entrepreneurship. I met her through an entrepreneurship women’s group in Atlanta almost 15 years ago. Although she works with Fortune 500 companies, she keeps a pulse on the happenings of the tech industry and works with tech companies of all sizes. | Linkedin |

If he is available, James Harris is the mentor to have if you are in tech. He has not only founded tech companies, but he has a track record of supporting tech companies along their journeys. He has founded at least two tech incubators and started Camp Freedom, a camp for inner-city children that will specialize in teaching environmentalism, mathematics, and technology in the foothills of Tennessee. I caught up with James and he gave me a few amazing updates. He said he is, “working to get the young people to connect entrepreneurship and nature.“ 

James is a board member of the Truly Living Well Center for Natural Urban Agriculture (TLW). TLW is an educational program that is creating a foundation for generations to carry the torch of maintaining a naturally grown fresh food supply within the Atlanta urban epicenter. James introduced me to Candace Mitchell Harris and Mayavana, so I was not surprised about this next update. James was blessed to purchase an 8.5-acre plot of land in Tuskeegee, Alabama, and plans on using that land to build a flower and botanical farm for natural beauty makers. This is incredible!!  | LinkedIn |

Unleashing Potential, Mastering Technology for The Future

Rayshoun Chambers has been a force in the world of payment technology since 1997. I’ve always known her to have a very passionate and knowledgeable presence. Bumping into her in the hallway at work could easily turn into an educational experience. I was a Marketing Manager with a passion for simplifying the sales process from the marketing side and she was the AVP of Business Development - of course, we had lots to talk about. We haven’t worked together in over a decade, but we’ve remained connected and kept each other abreast of our projects.

When putting this article together, I wanted to make sure payment technology, also known as FinTech, was a part of the conversation and you can’t discuss payment technology without bringing up Rayshoun Chambers. We connected to discuss her impact on the industry of payment technology and I was in for a HUGE surprise, as her work with Blockchain technology and its impact on Fintech, led her directly to the young learners in technology.

By looking at her LinkedIn I could see that she started working within the K-12 space, but learning about her approach to the K-12 space is what had my jaw hitting the floor. When we met, I was intrigued because I was used to seeing her wearing suits and walking amongst the backdrop of cubicles and offices. On this day, she was wearing all black with a cool t-shirt at a desk that sat in the middle of a large room that looked like a STEM lover’s dream.

Rayshoun is the Director of Technology Learning and Development for Peacemakers of Rocky Mount. Peacemakers is a nonprofit faith-based organization. Rayshoun was tasked with creating a program that connected with middle and high school students. She came up with Digital Futures Academy. Each day scholars from around the city of Rocky Mount come to Digital Futures Academy for an experience of a lifetime.

Rayshoun works with the Unreal Engine team at Epic Games to use Fortnite Creative to help middle and high school students learn game design. She is on a task force with Epic Games to create a certification program for Unreal Engine that will be implemented in high schools by the end of this year. This micro-credential partnership seemed very interesting so I had to dig deeper. 

“So we're very serious about micro-credentials because that's really where it is” said Rayshoun “When we discuss the direction of technology and how people will qualify for these 21st-century jobs, we’re seeing that big pharma and big corporate recognized that they no longer have the time to say ‘I need a master's degree candidate’ because technology changes too quickly for anyone to wait for them to get it over the course of four more years. So they're looking for people who have micro-credentials that certify that they've gone to some intensive coursework, garnered this knowledge, and had an opportunity to display and execute it.” 

Rayshoun went on to discuss her reasons for being so vested in this task force, “That's one of my very deep-seated interests with being part of this task force with Epic Games, with other educators, gamers, and designers. Each of us has our own piece of the pie to structure out and have ready so that these young people have something tangible to present to various companies for their career paths. It's mission-critical for us to be able to afford them the opportunities to do that. And so I'm excited about being part of that process.”

I mentioned that I’ve always known Rayshoun to be passionate and apparently the passion I remember is an understatement. She’s much more passionate today than the woman I knew ten years ago. She recently spoke at the North Carolina Business Committee for Education with Governor Cooper on the importance of allowing scholars to be exposed to and allowed the opportunity to demonstrate proficiency in learning complex data skills in a fun, exciting, and engaging environment.

The students are going much deeper than learning technology. They are learning the necessary soft skills for maintaining a position. “I have other companies here locally and nationally that provide me with information that is useful to these scholars. So I'm not so much interested in what are you hiring for. My conversations with my scholars are centered around skills they can use in the real world. We have realistic conversations about terminations. I receive a monthly list from various companies that let me know the number of terminations they had as well as the reasons for the terminations. We have to really help these young people who are so separated in person but connected online to remember how to execute soft skills. What does it mean to listen? How do you interact with people? How are you doing that above board, you know? So being able to unpack that live and in person and create these modules for them to do that is near and dear to my heart.” 

At the moment she’s thrilled about the girls in the program becoming a part of the Dell Technologies Girls Who Game Spring Cohort. 

Rayshoun is a force no matter the industry or cause. While she was downloading all of this wonderful history-making information to me I was glowing with amazement. I told Rayshoun, “They’ve got the right one in place.” What I meant by that is: Imagine your most groundbreaking colleague. There is a big project or a big emergency and you know this person is going to have the answer to solve the problem, lead the mission to get it resolved, or just get it done by any means necessary, and then out of nowhere, you pick this person up and they put all their momentum behind our future, the children.  

Just when I think I know a great deal about Black History, I soon find more information. Technology has made it easier to learn. I was the kid who asked to be taken to the library before I could drive. With the help of technology, I’m learning more about progress and attempts at progress within global history. I hope people keep speaking about their progress and what they are doing because their intentions may not be to “make history,” but by focusing on healing and progress, they are naturally making history. There are so many voices that would make many people believe there is no hope or progress and having lived in Atlanta for 20 years, that in itself blows my mind. While living in Atlanta I witnessed so much progress for so long, but the more I live in other parts of the United States, I realize not everyone had the same experiences from my perspective. Progress is happening nationwide and across the globe. Sometimes we need someone to point it out to us and other times, we need to know the right words to put into the search bars. Cheers to balancing the past, present, and future.

My creative process is usually instant. The creativity hits me hard and I have to go with it. I have to release what is inside or it will haunt me until it’s out - this goes for visual and written art. So most of my poems come from what feels like an instinct. This is why Trials and Tribulations of a Healing Heart is organized by dates, even times because I wanted to make the writing sequence visible.

This week’s entry is a personal quote that lingered in my mind until I released it into my writing program. It was written on October 26th, 2017, and has an explanation that is based on an epiphany based on a relationship.

Read more

There’s this song that I’ve always loved from the moment I heard it. I’ve never heard it on the radio. It was a recommendation on Pandora years ago. This song lit me up from the inside. Cords were struck! It was the melody and the lyrics. Whenever I was with someone I thought I loved romantically, I thought “Maybe this song is for them” Three to six months later, I’d realize the song had nothing to do with my connection to them..

Wrestling With Romantic Love Perspectives

Due to my last two books and personal experiences, one might think I would have a problem with romantic love. I love romantic love but at times I go back and forth on whether it is for me this lifetime. I feel like I fell in love with the people I fell in love with to bring my children into the world. The psychic happenings around their births and before their deliveries are wild. I’ve shared some of the stories on TikTok here and there, and I’ll go into more detail in another post some other time, but my children were meant to be here with me this lifetime. But am I meant to be romantically connected to someone in this lifetime?

I believe in romantic love and have loved people romantically. There are so many people who do it for as long as they’re supposed to do it, even for the rest of their lives and when I see romantic love in others it gives me hope for all the people I know who crave it, but I don’t crave it.

When I say I’m not focused on romantic love my therapists take it as me feeling undeserving because the first thing they say is “Everyone deserves someone.” I never said I didn’t deserve anything I wanted. I just feel like I have better things to do with my time at this phase in my life. I’ve reached many personal and professional goals while in and out of romantic relationships.

Accomplishing goals while with someone I loved wasn’t always a celebration. Imagine experiencing success amongst your professional peers and then feeling excited to tell your spouse and you see the empty, fake happiness in their face that will soon be followed by a hurtful, disrespectful, or degrading act. I was left licking my wounds while climbing up a mountain and looking over my shoulder because the person who was supposed to be on my side revealed themselves to be a hater.

After that person, I kept my business and personal successes to myself during my next relationships, but it showed in purchases and the way people treated me. Life is too short and there is too much to do for me to manage another person’s ego when they could be out there making things happen for themselves instead of brooding over my blessings. I have so much more to accomplish and my squad grew. No time for carrying adults on my back who might try to trip me on my journey.

I know exactly what type of person I deserve. With the way technology is headed, I could put in the birth chart data and then add the qualities I want in a person and an artificial intelligence algorithm will send me their coordinates, but I’m still not interested in learning more about people from a romantic perspective. I want a deeper sense of self-love.

Magnifying The Mirror

I’ve said this before, but most of my problems can be related to a lack of or an insufficient amount of self-love. A person with deep, unconditional self-love would NEEEEVER find themselves in some of the situations I’ve been in for so long.

There’s this guy who by just existing is doing his part to make me become more present and forcing me to take a deeper look at myself, just as his sisters did when they arrived. This is the most recent, and final addition to my children's squad, my son. I was told about his arrival in 2021 and in that same year I saw him in ceremony. He was born in 2023.

When I look at my son I think about all of the men I loved platonically, romantically, and even as family members who had mommy issues and the damage they did to me and others. I want better for my son and my daughters. They need to see that they have value and that doing the work on their mental and emotional health is also valuable. No friend, lover, or family member they come close to will be perfect, but a person who truly loves them will face their faults, evolve, improve, go to therapy, do the work, love themselves, and care for themselves.

My oldest two children have seen a depressed, low-energy mom - a mean mother who could only show a glimmer of her true self every now and then. In December of 2018 after a series of traumatic happenings for me and my children, someone who was a witness to one of the worst days said some words to me that will stick with me forever. He said, “You don’t love yourself. You get with these men who can’t do anything for you and you have to do all the work. You get tired and you take it out on the kids.” He was my 1st husband’s friend. He got close enough to see our real life and not what my 1st husband wanted people to see. He had people thinking he was the breadwinner, but in reality, whether working for my business or working for a company, it was me who made sure everything was taken care of, and when it got hard, I didn’t have a partner I had a child who was mad that he had to work and refused to get a job. It was frustrating and I wasn’t the best mother to them. I had no patience or grace for the people who loved and cared for me more than he did The way I treated them wasn’t intentional, but they got caught in the ricochet of my depression and exhaustion. His friend’s words dug into me like Scorpion on Mortal Kombat.

Another one of my 1st husband’s friends connected with me about 30 days later. He checked on my daughters and asked me to let him speak from a place of observation. He told me about how he watched my 1st husband and his mother belittle, abuse, and disrespect me and my 1st child for years and he wondered why I never spoke up to him. I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable speaking to anyone close to them. He explained that he felt their actions toward me and my child were horrible and he always wondered why I stayed. I explained the violence associated with my attempts to leave and how my 1st husband always kept my money tied up with his unfruitful financial endeavors. He said, “Yes, they were wrong, but it’s clear to me that you don’t love yourself. As a father and someone who loves your two daughters none of this sits well with me. No person would endure this much for this long if they loved themselves.” He listed off all the ways I should have left and mentioned that I didn’t do it until it became dangerous.

Even when writing this, I can still feel how I felt when his friends spoke to me. Those were the last times I spoke to either of my 1st husband’s friends. After that last conversation, plus many more conversations that revealed how much I didn’t know about the person I was married to I hit rock bottom mentally and emotionally. I thank God for baby number three for many reasons. Without her, I would have weakened and gone back to the monster I knew because of the familiar trauma. However, I had left the marriage in late summer of 2017, and moved on and I was pregnant at the time of those conversations.

By the time I made it to my OB appointments, I had multiple mental health screenings and they all read depressed on a high level. My doctor’s office made many adjustments for me. Their social worker was a licensed therapist and because it was so difficult to find a therapist - she took me on. I was in her office 2-3 times a week, from then up until three months after I delivered baby number three.

Since 2008, I’ve been actively working on healing and if you dare to travel this road of doing the real work, not just reading a few books and attending spiritual events, but doing the work that is directed toward you, you understand that healing is an onion. Once you heal a layer there are more layers underneath that need your love, care, and grace. To this day, I still peel back the layers for me and my children.

Today the two oldest and my new additions have a mother who openly discusses her mistakes, therapies, ceremonies, and healing techniques that I participate in to be my best self for us. I need them to see that they are worth improvement - that if someone wants to be in their life they will do the work to improve and not just talk - not say they will change and do the same things over and over for decades and then get upset when you speak the truth.

That’s what I grew up with - a man who was all talk when it came to improvement and progress. He was abusive and refused to get help. He said he’d change and never did. As an adult, I ended up with abusive(in different ways) men who refused to get help. They said nothing was wrong with them or that they would change but never did. At the end of the day, it all boils down to value. Was I worth the effort to improve? No - My father didn’t value me nor the men I would later become romantically involved with or even marry. I had to learn how to value and love myself and I’m mad it took me so long.

If my children see their mother doing the work to heal and love herself, maybe they will see what real love looks like - evolution.

Flipping Love Songs

There are so many love songs that I find weak and even disturbing. Some of them are songs I used to sing with my whole chest. “Fool For You” by Melanie Fiona and Ceelo Green was one of those songs. I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t singing a duet song by myself. I found myself constantly trying to prove my love and worth and value to someone who was showing me I was not loved, was not worthy, and had no value - to them or myself. What his friend told me was true. Someone who truly loved themselves could never endure all that I did for so long.

With a healed mind and way more self-love, I can honestly say my 1st husband never loved me. I was a convenient pick-me who was his prey. I was with this person from 2005 to 2017. When I left, it was a traumatic experience, and to punish me, he and his mother spread lies about me and destroyed relationships with people I was close to. Many of those relationships have never been repaired and to be honest many of them should not. Some people took their word and never bothered to ask me anything directly. Again, circling back to worth/value - if my relationship with them was worth anything or if I had any value to those people they would have asked me what happened directly instead of cutting contact or rejecting me based on the word of people I know they didn’t like in the first place.

I always come across these statements about how young women need to choose better when they date to avoid problematic men, but they forget people fake their personalities at the beginning of relationships. Even if the relationships are good through and through there are a few key life changes that will reveal the truth of an individual:

• The Death of a Relative/Loved One

• Pregnancy/Miscairrage/Birth of a Child

• A Breakup

If you love yourself with the same intensity and passion as these love songs, you can protect yourself from people who wish to treat you as if you have no worth or value.

In the opening paragraph, I mentioned a song that lit me up inside. Over the years I have tried to pin this song to people who I thought were the one, but they weren’t it. One day while singing this song I thought about the words and I said, this song needs to be sung in the mirror, because it is a love song to the self and all facets of the self - higher self, shadow, etc.

Jhene Aiko may have written the song for the love of that moment in time, but look at her lyrics. Skip Kendrick Lamar’s part because that solidifies it as a romantic love song. If you separate his part and say her 1st verse in the mirror, it is a powerful experience.

Flipping “Stay Ready” Instructions

• Clean your mirror with vinegar or Windex

• Spiritually cleanse the mirror - smudging, praying, chanting, etc

• Ground Yourself & Take 5 deep breaths

  • Imagine yourself inhaling the air from the between leafy branches of a large tree

  • Imagine yourself exhaling into the Earth

  • As you exhale the air flows down your body and between your feet and into the Earth

• Sing the lyrics

  • Skip the Kendrick Lamar part and the rest of the song

Stay Ready by Jhene Aiko

We do not exist inAny other instant
Here in this dimension
You and I are meant to be
I have waited lifetimes to find you
Now that you're here, I can remind you
Of the things you've been dreamin' times two
I promise you

If you just give me 24
Man, all I need is 24 hours
I promise you'll want plenty more
You'll probably be with it forever
So how does it sound, us on the ground
Giving you my love?

There's no place quite like here
There's no better time than now
You gotta stay ready
There's no place quite like here
There's no better time than now
That's why I stay ready

Love Song Outlooks

Be careful what you sing - especially with emotion. You could be casting a horrible spell on yourself that is keeping you in loops of experiences where you are kept small, unloved, and abused. If you do find these types of love songs on your playlists, ask yourself what ties you to those lyrics, that energy, or the emotion the singer is emitting. If it is the beat, then consider what you are beating into your consciousness.

Things to Consider

• Which love songs do you recognize as self-deprecating?

• Which songs double as self-love songs?

• Who needs to see you love yourself the most?

Soul Trine and Climate Justice Alliance

This year, my company, Soul Trine, was hired to provide Reiki and Tarot Readings services for the 2023 Climate Justice Alliance Convening. It was a brilliant and beautiful experience. It was hosted at the Kheprw Institute, which is an amazing and impactful organization right here in Indianapolis, IN.

Michelle from the Climate Justice Alliance found Soul Trine online (Shout out to my 18 years of Digital Marketing Experience!) and blew my mind with the description of the company’s initiatives. Please visit their website to learn more. Fighting climate change is bigger than saving the Earth and saving the Earth is much more complex than what we were taught about the ozone layer.

Watch the video to learn more about the details of the beauty that happened at the 2023 Climate Justice Alliance Conveneing.

Attending The Indiana Black Caucus/Kheprw/Climate Justice Alliance (CJA) Screening

The CJA 2023 Convening was almost a week-long event. Many non-profit organizations from all over the US came to Indianapolis, Indiana to build, connect, and expand on initiatives. Even though I was hired as a vendor, I was honored to be asked to attend the public screening of “ ‘Grasping at the Roots,’ a Love Letter to the Movement” at the Madame CJ Walker Theater. This was a documentary on climate change and its impact on black communities. I had previously scheduled clients so I could not see the whole documentary. However, I did catch the last 20 minutes of the screening and the panel discussion.

The last 20 minutes were deep into the impact climate has had on the health, politics, and policing of Jackson, MS. I love how dots were connected because the more people can see the connections and patterns, the more likely they are to see how everything impacts them and create change.

As I know more about where the documentary can be seen by the masses I will make the updates on the article, in the comments, and in the chat.

Overall this experience was beautiful. There were beautiful competent people from many different cultures coming together to make the world a better place from human-to-human and human-to-Earth perspectives. I left feeling empowered and inspired. As a person who has put on complex events, if I were part of a conference like this, that would be a major desire - that everyone left feeling empowered and inspired.

A little while ago I did a party for a woman who was turning 40. If you don’t know I provide spiritual services for people through my company Soul Trine. The services include readings and I am often hired for parties and gatherings. When I got to the party, she told me she had never had a reading before in her life and I gave her and her husband readings before most of the guests got there. It’s always a beautiful experience to be someone’s first but to be someone’s first at their 40th birthday party that they hired you for was wild. I was honored.

The people at the party seemed to be similar in age and were all connected to her through some facet of her life. They were all really cool and seemed like the kind of people I wouldn’t mind hanging out with. To be honest, I was ecstatic to hang out with adults I didn’t know. I had a fresh 2—month—old at home, was nursing, and hadn’t really been on any scene in a while. The birthday party was at my favorite type of establishment - a coffee shop in the day, a bar at night, on a back street, near a main street downtown. Exactly what a social butterfly coming out of a new cacoon needed.

When doing readings at events, themes start to arise. You will get a group of people who ask about love and then some who ask about money/work. This party had those themes, but a surprising theme came up and I was so grateful to support people in this way. People started asking about their children - born and unborn. They wanted to know about their futures, personalities, fertility, and most things child-related. The readings were refreshing. I don’t get many child questions in my practice and they also asked personal advice questions of me as a mom.

I never looked at myself as the type to give out mom advice. I always saw myself as more of a person who has plenty of precautionary tales on deck. But I suppose I’m an OG now because I now have four children, one just graduated high school and is legally an adult, while my 4th is only months old and I’m 41.

A Message on Healing

Of all the messages that came through, the biggest message was about healing. So many people come into parenting - whether intentionally or accidentally - with ideas about how things will go. Rapid advancements in technology greatly impacted the parents of Gen X - Alpha, but that impact is nothing compared to how their parents will affect them.

The firstborn child will get the brunt of your mistakes. You will likely feel good about doing better or having a different approach than your parents, but as they grow their development will trigger unhealed parts of yourself from times when you were their age. Get ahead of all that. Whether, you are planning for a child, expecting, have a child, or are just sexually active - get healed.

What does healing look like? Therapy is great, but please make sure you find the right therapist for you - a person who can relate to you and make you feel unjudged. You’ll know in your first appointment. As you grow, change, and heal, the type of therapist you need may evolve.

Looking for therapists can be a daunting task. Out of the variety of therapists I’ve had, I only had one that gave me a weird feeling. None of them looked like me, but their professional and/or personal experiences made me feel a resonance with them. To them, I am forever grateful.

By the time my oldest was five and still an only child, I had been through so much that pushed me toward deep levels of healing. Situations that came up with my child caused long-buried experiences to arise in my mind and they needed to be addressed. At this point, I took the spiritual/emotional route to heal. All the while things were happening in my present that caused me to go deeper into my healing methods and all in all, helped me in my journey to becoming a better person and parent.

Taking the spiritual/emotional route is a slippery slope. On the low end, it allows people to spiritually bypass their issues. On the high end, people can heal themselves, their lineage, and their lifetimes with a brave, head-on approach.

What is spiritual bypassing? “Spiritual bypassing is the avoidance and repression of one’s self” - I wrote an article on spiritual bypassing a while back. Take a read and tell me if you have witnessed spiritual bypassing. When I researched what it was, I realized I was raised by this type of person. This is probably one of the reasons why I go so hard into healing and facing myself from many different angles.

I personally use traditional therapy and spiritual/emotional healing methods. Being a good parent to my children means so much to me and I’m willing to go to therapy, walk on hot coals, purge, and travel to other dimensions to be what they need in this lifetime - I have done all of that plus more. No matter how much therapy and spiritual means you use to heal prior to the arrival of children, having children doesn't absolve you from experiences in which you will need to be healed. I wish!!!!! The lightning, lava, and sunshine of real-life carry on, and the need for healing continues.

Must Haves and Never Minds in Your Baby’s First Four Months

I’ve been kind of quiet lately because I’ve been tuned into protecting and nourishing my new baby inside and outside the womb. As a mother of four with 18+ years of experience, I just realized I’ve never written about my product observations. I usually share this information on a one-to-one basis through in-person visits, texts, and phone calls with friends and family.

If you are a parent, raising a child, attending a baby shower, or want to show support through the comfort of a product this is the article for you.

The term “colic” will come up often. What is it? “Colic is when a healthy baby cries for a very long time, for no obvious reason.” - John Hopkins Medicine

Colic and Gas

These two are the enemies of a baby’s peace. Out of my four children, 3 of them had Colic. Our pediatrician recently told me Colic is the #1 concern for one-month appointments.

Gerber Cereal for Baby Power Blend - MUST HAVE

OMG, my first baby had the worst colic. The colic kept me so stressed, plus she was in the hospital for 10 days and at least five of those days, no one was allowed to touch her - including me - so our initial bonding time was not too great. At the time was in a small town in GA and her doctor told me to add cereal to her bottle to help with the colic. Her sibling's doctors from bigger cities have raised their eyebrows at that advice, but that small-town doctor was much more senior and what he said worked. So, cereal has always been something I introduced early, but I made sure their doctors knew in case some new information about came out that was detrimental. With baby #4 I found a new cereal that included probiotics and tried it with him. Even though baby #4’s doctor didn’t agree with the cereal advice of the doctor of baby #1, she did like the idea of the baby receiving probiotics without me having to spend $15 - $40+ on probiotics drops for infants. It helped and now it’s the only cereal I buy, even though he is now beyond his colic phase.

Mylicon - NEVERMIND

As far as an over-the-counter medicine, Mylicon drops were a staple in my new baby must-haves collection, but a few things annoyed me about Mylicon drops.

• They don’t always work

• It is difficult to get all of the product out of the bottle. It is a very thick liquid and you would get better use out of the product if it came in a tube, but the design leaves a lot of product to be thrown away. Also, when your baby is screaming, who has time to wait for it to slide out of the bottle?

Boiron ColicComfort - MUST HAVE

I recently found a new product that has really helped. It is only good for babies who are one month old and older. The product is a thin clear liquid that comes in single-use packaging, so it eliminates the issue of getting all the product out of the bottle, and the results were immediate. Within a few minutes of giving my little man the drops, gas is expelled, and he calms down.

Breastfeeding and Nursing

This is my 4th time nursing, and the length of time differed for each child. The reasons for the timing were all different, but they aren’t important for this article. People often talk about the beauty and benefits of nursing, and they aren’t wrong or exaggerating. It’s everything your baby needs and more. The reality is that it hurts. The first three weeks are excruciating because your new precious baby is learning to latch while your nipples are getting used to the intense sensation of being a food source. Let’s not forget about lactation concerns like mastitis or clogged ducts - WHEW more pain!!!

Nipple Crack

Most hospitals will give you lanolin to comfort your nipples. I never had a problem with lanolin. It provided a small level of comfort but didn’t give me full relief from having nipples that couldn’t stand to feel a breeze of air. What is lanolin? Lanolin is a waxy sheep skin secretion. This wax substance comes out of glands in their skin. I reluctantly used this for all four children because I got it free from the hospital and I probably bought it once when I ran out.

With baby #4 I knew there had to be a better way. I didn’t wait until I ran out of lanolin and searched the reviews of various brands for what made sense and that’s how I found Nipple Crack.

Nipple Crack is plant-based and makes my nipples feel better. I could tolerate my nipples being in the air around me and they felt soothed. I didn’t even have to use the whole container before I stopped. The baby didn’t cringe at the taste of the product. I would happily add this to a baby shower gift basket.

Medela Breast Pump - Must Have

Whether I get it for free or buy it myself, I always end up with the Pump and Style version of the time for the Medela breast pumps. I saw no flaw in every version of this breast pump. They are efficient and always seem to change over time to correct any issues related to convenience. However, even if you purchased the special bra separately, it wasn’t truly hands-free. That is why I didn’t purchase the bra they sell for baby #4, because I still ended up holding everything up to my boobs while being unable to use my hands. I feel like too much milk gets wasted in the stopping process and every drop counts. It is a great breast pump for traditional breast pumps, just don’t buy the bra thinking you will have a hands-free experience. 

MomMed Double Wearable Breast Pump - Never Mind

For baby #4 I really wanted to try a hands-free breast pump so I scoured the internet for an idea of which would be the best one without me spending $500. I ended up with the MomMed Double Wearable Breast Pump.

I’ve returned this product twice. The first time one of the breast pumps stopped working and turned on/off by itself. When I brought it to the return center the cashier looked at me strangely because it was just doing it’s thing in the box. Amazon sent me a new one. It seemed like my first rodeo with this breast pump was just one bad apple, but after a week, one of the pumps just made noise but had no suction. I tried switching breasts for the pumps multiple times and using this pump started to take way longer because I had to always have one pump do all the work. I opted to stop breastfeeding altogether after this because my lifestyle was taking a change and I could not afford the extra time to breastfeed, I was just over nursing altogether at this point. However, for the brief times that it worked, it felt good to just express the milk while being at my desk, cleaning up, or cuddling the kids.

Medela Safe & Dry Disposable Nursing Pads - Must Have

This is another product I’ve used for the past three children. They are thin, they work, and they are convenient. The price for these is always right. I’m actually about to order more now.

Bottles

Of all of the four children, I’ve always been the one to choose the bottles, until #4. My bottle strategy has always been centered around reducing instances of colic and my strategies worked until #4. I spent so much money on buying bottles that he didn’t like. It was his daycare center that told me which one’s breastfed babies prefer, but my first three never cared about the bottle or nipple. They just wanted their milk when they wanted it. #4 is very specific and I’ve had to change up my whole bottling process with him. I’m going to show you what worked for all the children, not just #4.

Playtex Baby VentAire Bottle - Must-Have

Because baby #1 had colic, I kept these bottles around and I even used them for baby #2 as well. They were great nipples, angled in the middle and had a lovely air system to remove air for colic babies. They were great bottles with soft flexible nipples. I should have tried this with baby #4 but I tried to go the same route as baby #3 and forgot.

MAM East Start Anti-Colic Bottle - Must-Have

With baby #3 I started using MAM bottles. They were great. I had zero complaints about this bottle. There are six parts to wash, but it’s all worth it if it reduces colic. Baby #4 is even okay with this bottle system. I keep his first one in his diaper bag.

Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Baby Bottles - Must Have

Tommee Tippee Products

I brought baby #4 to daycare on the first day with his Mam and Nuby bottles. At the end of the day, they said he gave them a hard time with both. At home he was mostly direct to breast so I assumed his issue with bottle usage had to do with a breast preference. The daycare told me about Tommee Tippee bottles and how they are the preferred bottle for breastfed babies. I want my babies to be happy and comfortable so I overnighted the bottles and had them ready for daycare. He loved them. Bottle feeding was a great experience for him with everyone and I recently purchased the larger-sized bottles because he is beyond the 5oz bottles at this point.

He will tolerate a MAM bottle, but he prefers his Tommee Tippee bottle. When he drank from Tommee Tippee bottles it truly mirrored the way he looked while on the breast.

Kiinde

I stumbled upon the Kiinde system with baby #3 and I was amazed by the efficiency of the system from birth to baby food stages. I was really irritated at myself for forgetting about this system for baby #4, but I will likely pick it up for the baby food stage for sure.

Kiinde Twist Universal Direct-Pump Feeding System Starter Kit - Must Have

The Kiinde bottle system is so cool and efficient that I had to show more pictures. You can nurse directly into their bags, store your bags on the shelves, and add the bag to a bottle. There is even another kit that comes with the bottle warmer. I can’t speak highly enough about this system. However, if you are using a hands-free breast pump, you won’t be able to pump directly into the bags, but storage bags are storage bags.

Kiinde Foodii Baby Food Maker System - Must-Have

Because I loved the Kiinde Feeding System with baby #3, it only made sense to keep the party going with the Baby Food Maker System. I already had plenty of pouches and what was the point of letting them go to waste? For baby #4 I will be going back to Kiinde for the Foodii system. It was perfect for making food, dispensing, and feeding your baby during their feeding stages if you are the type of parent who likes to make your own baby food.

I would love to have the time to be the Mother Earth Goddess that I am on the inside all the time and say I will make all of baby #4s food, but who knows if time will allow. In the event that I will have time, I want to be prepared for storage and preparation, and for the price, the Kiinde Foodii Baby Food Maker System is worth it.

Nuby Infant Feeding Bottles - Depends

So, I have loved the Nuby sippy cups for my toddlers since baby #1. This time around, I found out they had infant bottles and grabbed them. Baby #4 hated them!! The reason why I like the Nuby sippy cups so much is because they created a natural progression from bottle to sippy cup. I was even able to transition babies #2 and #3 away from bottles sooner because of these great sippy cups. Based on the texture of the bottle nipple, it feels like they reshaped the sippy cup spout into a bottle nipple. They have a similar density.

The reason why I didn’t say Never Mind or Must Have is because the Nuby bottle nipple might work for a baby who has never breastfed or a baby who is not so picky. I would be open to trying the Nuby infant bottle again when baby #4 is older, but I might as well wait until he is on the verge of sippy cup age just to go for what I know.

Let Me Know

I have many other product recommendations related to little people who are under four months, but the most important part of the first four months is perfecting their diet to avoid colic and other issues that keep you and the baby from resting.

Answer the following questions in the comments:

• What helped you manage being a parent in the first four months?

• What have you done to work on processing your traumas from childhood and adulthood?

If you have read any of my books (Trials & Tribulations of a Healing Heart, Everything But a Smile), you probably picked up on the fact that I’ve struggled with depression for a long time. I was first diagnosed at 15, but if times were different, I probably would have been diagnosed at five.  Even though I’ve struggled with depression for so long, I made a major breakthrough in my understanding of depression at 40.

Whenever I heard about celebrities dying by suicide, I never felt sad for them or their loved ones. Curiosity consumed me. I always read the reactions and watched how people around them acted so surprised. I felt sad for the loss their loved ones experienced but not for their confusion. I never understood my lack of reaction, but I get it now. It took me decades, but it all makes sense.

I keep seeing news articles and social media posts about people murdered by their spouses (lovers, exes, etc.). My mind starts to spiral with questions every time I see this. Was this murder a surprise in their mind or something they feared for a while? If they feared it, did they feel safe telling someone, or were they trying their best to keep up appearances? If murder at the hands of their spouse was something they feared, what stopped them from leaving? Did they have support, and did they feel safe enough to share their story? Did they feel safe enough to receive help? Not just safe from their spouse's repercussions but from others' gossip and judgment.

Did the loved ones of the suicide and domestic violence murder victims even know there was a problem? How close were they really? The reality is people need to feel safe to speak their pain and truth in order for their loved ones to know in the first place. Today psychologists are discovering the need for openness and connection. The “Rat Park” study discussed the connection between “lack of connection” and addiction. The relevance of this article with regard to depression is that if you know anything about psychiatric hospitals, there was a time when addicts would join the same group therapies as the people suffering from depression after they detoxed. Check out this article by Psychiatric Times.

Are our connections healthy? As we navigate life, do we have true healthy support systems that make us feel comfortable enough to share the truth of our suffering - without feeling like our pain is being processed through a megaphone without our permission or suffering judgment? People cope with this by hiding who they are, and people act surprised when the news of death comes by.

Are the connections we have aware of how to be a safe space? In my experience, people know how to be a safe space from the common sense of knowing how they would want to be treated in trying times but choose not to for various reasons.

Time and Titles Mean Nothing

Childhood ties are intriguing. The very people who watched you grow up could look at you as an enemy, even while you are still a child. You might feel it, but they’d never admit it, even to themselves. These people seem to get a hard-on for every mistake and failure in your life, whether small or large. Sometimes they are the ones who are the first to speak about your misfortune - likely behind your back. Either way, their time in your life, their title, and your feelings for them give them access to you that would be off-limits to a stranger. Without the proper boundaries and self-awareness, these ties can be dangerous.  

I’ve had some of the most amazing connections with people I met later in life - some within the past few years. I attribute this to my healing and growth, reflecting my ability to attract amazing people, but even during times of healing and growth, there were times I was working through trauma. Times like this can be tricky because when your head is down and you are licking your wounds, it’s hard to tell the difference between a trauma bond and a genuine connection.

Some people are happy to be down with you in your hard times, but as you arise, your connection changes for the worse, especially if things aren’t changing for the better for them. The connection you created with another changed over time, as it should. Our connections evolve, devolve, or remain neutral - oftentimes without us noticing the change in course. This can be dangerous. Imagine sharing something with someone when you were so wrapped up in your pain that you didn’t notice the change in connection from their side. The person you trusted does not exist anymore. So then you learn the hard way to put a clamp in that connection to avoid additional pain and exposure.

This is a lesson I’ve learned too many times. I’ve suffered in silence with depression at the hands of a spouse and the loss and/or exposure of a person I thought was a connection - a safe place. 

At The Hands of a Spouse

If you grew up in a home where you listened to someone apologize and promise to change after hurting you repeatedly, how do you think that would impact you as an adult? That person would become untrusting and cut people off immediately - that makes the most sense, right? But the reality is that there was a part of me that always wished that I was worthy of the change and worthy of a true apology that was more than words. So as an adult, when I would think about who I was as a person, how good I was to them, and how much they said they loved me and would change this time, it just made sense - why? Because I would change for them. No matter the type of relationship, if I know I’m hurting you, I will stop. There was one person in my life who I had temporarily cut contact with completely because I knew that even in truth and defense of myself, my tongue would destroy them with the truth they seemed to forget or be unaware of - and in relation to the topic at hand, I sat front row to their pain in the past.

My theory is that victims of spousal abuse go back and forth between a childlike hope of change, trying to maintain appearances, and being afraid to leave. I explained the childlike hope above. Keeping up appearances relates to people not wanting to deal with what comes with people knowing how messed up things are:

• If they know, they will tell my business

• If they know, it will be a burden on them emotionally

• If they know, they can’t help me anyway

• If they know, they won’t help - they will enjoy my misery

• If they know, they won’t look at me the same

• If they know I am weak

• If they know, they will blame me

Being afraid to leave means dealing with the consequences of:

• Being found

• Lies told to demonize you and victimize the aggressor

• Being able to afford to leave

• Displacing children

• Stalking/Living in fear

• Losing connections

• Losing your material possessions

• Losing your independence and privacy 

• Facing a whole new world of gossip and jest over your misery

I have this theory because I have lived this a few times this lifetime. I’ve had nights where I wasn’t sure if I would wake up. I have permanent scars covered by beautiful tattoos. I’ve been hunted and stalked like prey - my every movement was documented and transmitted by people working together like I had been tagged. I’ve looked into the face of police officers who laughed at my pain, swelling, and scars. I finally left to come across family members I never spoke to about my abuse or my life, making jokes about the abuse I suffered. 

In the midst of it all, what eventually broke the hope cycle was asking myself questions like, “If you die, what will happen to the kids? Where will they go? Will they live?” More recently, for each of my three girls, there was a moment of concern that I never wanted them to relive. The moments weren’t very traumatic for two of them, but heavily traumatic for one. It’s weird how my brain works. I was willing to endure with the hope of change, but for them, I couldn’t. I didn’t want them to see their mother being mistreated and continue the generational curse of being a good woman to a horrible man. I didn’t want them to face any abuse, and most importantly, I didn’t want them to find me dead or hear of my death at the hands of a spouse.

If the people who died at the hands of their spouse were blindsided by their murder and ended up dead, I could understand that too. Even as an intuitive, I’ve been “blind to my own life” like Aunt Mozelle in Eve’s Bayou. In my case, it is specifically my love life, and at 40, I now understand the part of me that needed to heal to regain this vision. If you know me, you know I’m not afraid to face myself or heal -  no matter how much it hurts.

Depression and Suicide

“People really out here dying of depression and can’t tell nobody because you gossip about them instead of helping.” Author Unknown

One of the reasons why I never felt sad about the confusion of the loved ones of people who died by suicide or the impact on their loved ones is similar to how I feel about people who die of cancer. There is a relief for the person who is suffering. They are no longer suffering in this human body form. From what I know about the soul journey, I realize some people who commit suicide suffer in a new form. The energy just transfers, but some of them move forward to their next journey in life. 

When I hear about someone who has suffered from cancer for a long time, I think about how relieved they will be when this journey is over if they are not meant to recover. I also consider that the family had time to prepare mentally, fiscally, and emotionally for their loss. On the other hand, I often feel bad for people who suddenly lose people through - heart attacks, murders, aneurysms, etc. However, suicide is different from my perspective. 

I’m glad Psychology Today wrote the article I mentioned above, but I’ve always questioned the connections of the person who died by suicide:

• Did they have a solid connection with someone?

  • If so, how is that person?

• Did they have a safe space?

• Was there a defining moment that helped them make that decision, or were they suffering for a long time?

• If they suffered from depression, were they met with the sympathy and care of a cancer patient or person with a physical illness, or did they just become the new hot topic to pick apart and make fun of at a gathering of friends and family?

As I mentioned before, I was first diagnosed with depression at 15, but between the ages of 12 and 21, I attempted suicide too many times to count. What shifted at 21 was that I became pregnant with my firstborn daughter. The depression would come back here and there after 21, but my mission for her kept me from trying to stop living.

My mission was to tell her the truth of life as she aged, so she doesn’t:

• Buy into the fairytale sold to us through TV screens of people pretending their life and way of life is happy, correct, and perfect

• Make the same mistakes I made

• Make the same mistakes the women in our bloodline have made with men

• Miss out on the power of loving herself

When she was about 1.5/2 years old, I had a psychic download about writing a book for my daughters; at the time, she was the only one. Today I have three. OMG, I have so much material it makes no sense. The last book I wrote, “Trials & Tribulations of a Healing Heart,” was supposed to be more in line with the download, but I paused on it and opted for the poetry associated with my healing journey. The material is still there, but I honestly didn’t feel ready to publish such a book when I was still in the middle of a domestic violence storm. More healing, leaving, and loving on me was needed.

Since 21, there have been some dark times where I have been mentally/emotionally hanging on by a thread. Still, I’ve stayed here for her and two more sisters who came as unexpectedly as her, yet I am determined to heal and fight through the pain while eliminating the eject button. 

The Loved Ones

Being real and vocal about your pain to others and yourself takes bravery that most people never acknowledge. Telling other people is not safe because determining who is safe to share your shadow, hurt and wounds with is a crap shoot for various reasons:

• Is the connection you used to have with another still as you thought it was?

• Will they broadcast your moments of vulnerability to others?

• Will they use the information against you?

This is why vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness. I have immense respect for anyone who can be so open to sharing themselves, especially with those they call friends and family.  

Today I watched DJ Paul from Three Six Mafia rant about how he feels about funerals. He said they were full of groupies, and the funeral he was referencing was for Gangsta Boo (RIP). He mentioned how he paid for the funeral, but he does not go to funerals and why. I felt him in a major way. I’ve seen people do some scandalous things behind wanting attention and clout behind the death services of another. I’ll have to add that to a book. Whew!! 

Just as people do things for clout and attention at the death of another, the same goes for the living. Imagine pouring your heart out at your lowest moments, and someone listens and fakes remorse for what you are going through to bring your business as an offering of tea to the people who know you. Just because they know you does not mean you feel comfortable discussing your business with them. Because if you wanted them to know, you would have told them, right?

There is a scene in Hunger Games Catching Fire where Finnick discusses the value of secrets. This was the first time I looked at gossip as a matter of exchange. In real life, people use your secrets as an offering to get closer to others, gain attention, clout, power, control, and even favors. In this lifetime, I have watched people use my secrets to mend a broken relationship with another. People overlook their power. People not only use your secrets for gain but also to drive wedges between loved ones and dissolve connections to try to manipulate how others feel about you. Being naive is cute, but let’s not forget the added judgments and lies that distort your truth. This is dangerous and powerful work.

In 2022 I watched my pain: 

• Empower people by making them feel good about themselves 

  • because they realize they are no longer alone 

  • because they feel good about being better than someone - specifically me

• Burden people

• Provide Entertainment - Especially for those whose juices flow at a whiff of my discomfort or misery.

I’m not perfect, and I haven’t been innocent in this. Years ago, a loved one came to stay with me. She had a plan to leave her man without conflict easily. All was well. She ended up taking him back temporarily - but that is a different story…her story. While she was staying with me, I told another loved one about her troubles. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but the look on her face during a conversation with me and the other loved one will forever stick with me.  Something I said in the conversation let her know I shared her pain. My brain put a bookmark on that moment.

As I continued my own healing, I realized something about myself. The man struggles and drama she was experiencing were also my own. I was sharing her pain with another loved one while hiding my own. A few years after that day and a few years before now, I apologized to her when I saw her face to face and confessed that I was deflecting my own pain, which she was there to witness, but never brought up. I explained how much I appreciated her and loved her dearly. I was forgiven, but if she is anything like me, she has not forgotten.     

I have fucked up in more than this way in life. I am not fueled by people thinking I’m amazing. I don’t need to present you with my accomplishments because I sit in the reality of my successes and failures. I actively seek out what needs to be fixed to heal and be better, and it feels like a never-ending game of Super Mario Brothers. Every time I beat the boss, I feel a sense of relief and pride and eventually find more of me to fix and heal. I’m cool with this because I want to evolve all the way around, especially as a mother. I want these generational curses broken. I don’t want their inheritance to include my generational pain and mistakes.

Generational Curses

These days, when people speak of generational curses, they usually speak of love(romantic, platonic, familial) and money. Recently, the conversation has picked up around parenting practices and mental health. For the sake of this piece, we are speaking of the tongue, which impacts all topics mentioned above. 

Since my reflection and apology to my loved one, I have paid more attention to how I communicate and receive information and how others do the same with me. When people tell me the stories of another, what is their purpose? Judgment, entertainment, or cultivating resources and ideas for support? When I speak about someone, I also check myself for the same questions. If there is a story to tell for the sake of lessons, am I giving the people involved anonymity?

Grown Folks Business

When I was a child, I remember being around grown folks talking during family gatherings. It was usually a group of women telling the personal business of the past or present related to a family member who was not there, in another room, or their own children. The emotions varied depending on the topic and the individuals involved. At some point, I would get shooed away because I was a child in grown folks' business.

As I got older, the exiles from the circles became less frequent, but the energies remained the same. Compassion, love, support, judgment, gossip, and entertainment were always present. The energies that had the most dominance depended on the topics and who was in attendance. As a child, many of us wanted to be a part of these circles. They seemed important, entertaining, dramatic, and sometimes funny, but at who’s expense? At some point, it was at your expense and likely brought up by a loved one. Remember those loved ones I mentioned in the beginning who get a hard-on and an ego boost for your misfortunes; they were there too.

There was a lot to learn at these circles if you are smart - keep secrets, especially about yourself, and avoid these gatherings like the plague or if you go show your face, eat the food and keep the conversation light. If you choose the show your face route, come up with exit statements: bathroom, get something out of the car, etc.  

Who wants to be the one laughed at or judged? These circles make or break people’s relationships with their loved ones with 2nd and even 3rd hand information without anyone asking for all of the 1st hand people’s perspectives. Why? Because it wasn’t their business in the first place. Scarlet letters and labels are handed out without more than one account of what happened. People distance themselves and then share their 3rd and 4th accounts of the situation with others who weren’t part of the original story or at the circle of judgment. Judgment and comedic relief often overpower compassion, love, and support. So what is the point? To create your real-life reality show? To make yourself feel better about who you are or to distract you from the pain you are already feeling in your own life?

Part of the generational curse of the tongue is all is based on ignorance and immaturity: 

• People don’t know how to help others going through a social crisis

• People lack boundaries

• People are willing to sacrifice your privacy and misfortune for the attention of others.

• People are too judgmental

• Many people have adverse feelings about therapy

  • With good reason

  • Thank goodness for updates in clinical therapy

• People are childish

• People consume too much drama and apply what they see to real-life - reality shows, soap operas, etc.

Where Are The Safe Spaces?

About 20 years ago, I moved back to my place of birth at my doctor's suggestion. I was in an outpatient program for depression, and the doctor felt like a different scene would be good for me. I moved around more than most as a kid, so I didn’t have a strong bond with loved ones as most people would, but I was welcomed with open arms. When I returned to my place of birth, I did not get back into an outpatient program, but found a therapist quickly and started regular therapy. Therapy wasn’t a dirty word around the loved ones I was with, but they still seemed unaware of the symptoms of depression, even though at least one of them had been previously diagnosed. 

A group of loved ones from where I lived came to visit for the holidays. I missed them and hadn’t seen them in a little while, so it felt good, but on Christmas Day, one of them started in on one of their verbal abuse attacks against another loved one and me that I’d dealt with my whole life. Try your best to ignore, deflect or go along to get along; they stayed true to themselves and didn’t stop until they saw you suffer enough. A tear down the cheek wasn’t enough. You had to be sobbing. That’s when they felt better. That is when they would stop. The loved ones from out of town left to go back home the day after Christmas, and it wasn’t the relief it should have been. It was the return of the thoughts that had me in the outpatient program back in the other town, the thoughts that fueled my many suicide attempts since 12 years old. 

The night of December 30th, I was officially done. As I sat in the bathtub, I called the only person in the world who I felt loved me and told them just how much I loved them. Maybe they were psychic. Perhaps they knew me that well, but they knew something was wrong and didn’t take that phone call for face value. The next thing I knew, the fire department was opening the door, and I was being taken away in handcuffs to the hospital. When I made it to the hospital, it was December 31st, and I lay strapped to a hospital bed in an emergency room with bandaged wrists. 

One of the hardest parts about being depressed is people knowing just how depressed you are. Often, the proof of existence is in your medication, and that’s not too hardcore. The medicine commercials and time make taking depression medication more acceptable today. Still, a hospital visit and suicide attempt put a neon sign on, something you would hide to keep up appearances and keep people from talking, judging, and spreading 3rd and 4th hand information. 

I recently saw my records, and it said I was in there from December 31st, 2001, to January 2nd of, 2002. The day before I left the hospital, I got a visit from a loved one. I had mixed feelings about their visit because of my embarrassment, but I smiled anyway. They came and talked to me like I was putting on some sort of show like I was doing a stunt on a bike without a helmet and scaring everyone. They sat in my face and said, “You can’t be doing that. You will scare your (loved one), and she can’t handle that.”  That moment reaffirmed my feelings of being alone in the world. I left town months later.

18 years later, we were in the car together, and they laughed, pointed at the hospital, and said, “You remember that place?” I said no because I couldn’t see any signs and didn’t know where I was. “That’s where you were,” they laughed. Memories of the day they visited me at the hospital came back, and I had nothing to say. After almost 20 years, depression and suicide are still a joke. 

Two years later, in an emotional storm after being physically abused by my spouse, I told this person what I was experiencing. Months later, when I finally left my spouse, a cousin, who I never spoke to about my personal life, made a joke about my physical abuse at a family gathering.

As far as I’m concerned, I have no safe spaces. Sometimes I feel like there are, but they only have a short time window where they are safe. To save my own life I have had to take risks on people, which brings its own level of anxiety.

I am a safe space. I’ve spent most of my life collecting the tears of abused (physical, mental & emotional) spouses, the suicidal, and the depressed. I have always been where broken hearts go, but I don’t have many safe spaces when it's my time. I am blessed to have people when I have them, but my experiences don’t leave me with much trust in humans. Despite how I have been treated, it does not stop me from treating others how I want to be treated; I exist without expectations and am grateful for what I am given.

Happenings, Lessons, Resolutions, and Manifestations

In 2022 alone, I had plenty of things happen that changed my perspective about life, love, and my continued existence on Earth in this form. I made big changes at the end of 2022 and felt it was premature for me to make resolutions because I was still processing 2022. Then I thought about how I’ve always felt like the new year should start with spring; apparently, more people felt the same way. Spring is a time of new beginnings, and here we are celebrating a new year just after winter solstice every year like we don’t know better, but we cave to consumer cycles and ignore nature cycles like always. 

Getting the western world to change the time of the new year is not something I want to put my energy into at this time, but I do feel like the call of the January 1st new year is a signal to pause and reflect on WTF happened the year before - good and bad. This will help us make better resolutions and manifestation goals for the upcoming spring. If you haven’t already, check out my article on Soul Trine, titled “Resolutions at The Wrong Time?” I get deeper into the new year placement concerns in this article and introduce my timing solution.

I created a $2.49 downloadable workbook called Happenings, Lessons, Resolutions, and Manifestations Journal to help people through processing the happenings of 2022. The journal helps the reader work through the following:

• What Happened

• Lessons Learned

• Resolutions

• Manifestation Goals

It has helped me with the following:

• Gain better direction for the blooms I have planned for the spring season

• Find sunshine in my storms

• Find gratitude in situations where all I saw was pain

• Create guard rails to avoid repeating unpleasant situations for 2023

• Better define resolutions and manifestation goals

My 2023 Prayer For You

For 2023 and beyond, I hope this year and every year afterward are better for you. I pray you find solid, safe spaces that withstand the test of time, trials, and tribulations. I pray that when your loved ones gather, compassion and support overpower the energies of gossip, judgment, and entertainment at the expense of another. I pray that if you are in danger, you are greeted with open arms, compassion, confidentiality, direction, and support. 

This is a conversation space in the Substack app that I set up exclusively for my subscribers — kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post short prompts, thoughts, and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion.

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Christopher Parker Howard connected with me to see if I would be open to appearing on his podcast, Coffee Over Suicide. I agreed, and I’m glad I did. We had an interesting and real conversation about life in Jamaica, racial dynamics in the western hemisphere, and my battles with post-partum depression, mental health, and suicide. Yes - I snot-bubble cried when speaking about my first bout with postpartum depression because after all I have been through, seeing my 1st born with a lifeless grey body and not being allowed to hold her for 6 days after I delivered her still holds the title for the most devastating time of my life. She is a happy and healthy soon-to-be 18-year-old. The two of us healed physically, but that experience tapped danced on my mental health.

Christopher Parker Howard and I laughed over various topics during the episode because life is a full spectrum of emotions. The key is to let them flow and not get too stuck in one emotion or another. If you wish to catch the episode on your favorite podcast platform, check out the graphic below to see where it is available. If you wish to watch it, check it out on the YouTube link below.

Love and Healing,

Aether Candace

It's Halloween Night. Are you avoiding the children in the neighborhood, happily serving candy from a festively decorated home, partying, or doing something a little bit of all three?

I’ve been on my laptop typing away. No one in my area is interested in the festivities of the season. I celebrated vicariously through my friends and coworkers via Zoom meetings.

I finally finished an article on the “thinning of the veil.” It is a term I’ve heard since I was a child, but didn’t quite dig into its true meaning until I was much older. I wrote about it on Coven Cloud because this is the season of the thin veil, and people are more likely to experience supernatural happenings during this time of year if they live in the northern hemisphere. I shared a real-life ghost story, direction on protection, and some things you should consider when thinking about times, places, and people when it concerns “the veil.”

Check out my latest Coven Cloud article - “When The Veil is Thin.”

If you love money, success, and witchy things, listen to a clip from the latest episode of Business Lair.

Business Lair

New Podcast Episode: Business Success Outside The Broom Closet w/Tahverlee Anglen

Join Tahverlee Anglen and me as we discuss achieving business success outside the broom closet and working with deities for financial progress. What I love about each episode is that I get to meet amazing people from different backgrounds and perspectives, and the common thread for everyone is that they want to help people succeed. Each episode of Busine…

Read more

4 years ago · Aether Candace

This afternoon I will be going live with Julie Pershin of Creators of New Earth as part of her live stream series. I’m excited about this opportunity because this will be my 2nd live interview. You can join the lives and engage on Youtube or Facebook at 3pm Eastern/12PM Pacific. Click the links to enjoy.

If the algorithms do not work in our favor and you are seeing this post from Facebook, Linkedin, or Twitter on any other morning that October 23, 2022, you will be able to catch a live stream replay on Youtube and Facebook.

Latest TikTok Videos

Here are a few of my latest TikTok videos for your Sunday.

@aethercandace#stitch with @Etéreo I'm getting to that place of appreciation faster these days. #spiritualtiktok #spiritualjourney #friends #personalgrowth #nerves

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@aethercandace#stitch with @jazztheyogi #parenting #trauma #generationaltrauma #generationaltraumabreaker #colonization #enslavedpeople #family #dobetter

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Have a good day. I hope to see you on the live stream later.

A few months ago, I created a group on Coven Cloud called Business Lair. Coven Cloud is a social network for people who are seeking spiritual knowledge. I’ll share more on how I connected with Coven Cloud in a later post, but long story short, I am now a partner at Coven Cloud, and I’m over the blog and monetization (PSST - I’m looking for writers if you want to share your voice with a metaphysical audience, connect with me.).

A Quick Progression

The idea for the Business Lair group came to me out of my love for business, magic, and spirituality. I’m somewhat of a business nerd, not in the sense of a Wall Street stock-following person, but I have a passion for making business more efficient, marketing, and helping people become business owners or enter new levels of business. I started this journey in 2005 as an entrepreneur by showing musicians the digital ropes of the music business to help them realize they didn’t have to grovel to record labels to make money, showing small businesses how to use the Internet to get more customers and eventually taking my digital marketing talents to Fortune 500 companies.

I own Soul Trine and Inbound Concepts, two companies that help people in different ways. Inbound Concepts focuses on digital marketing and digital operations, while Soul Trine focuses on spiritual development, revelations, and growth. Over time and after integrating my metaphysical side with my business side, I was able to speak more freely about my spiritual connections in business, and I included Soul Trine/Cloud 9.5 on my LinkedIn profile. This gave me the confidence to niche my clientele to help expand the voices of the people who many agencies and consultancies will overlook. Inbound Concepts became a consultancy for metaphysical business owners. This didn’t mean they had to have a metaphysical shop or do tarot readings; my niche includes people who have everyday/mundane businesses and incorporate spiritual elements into their lifestyle and business practices.

With this new approach to my business, I was thrilled and decided to let Business Lair be the voice for my digital marketing consultancy, Inbound Concepts. Business Lair will help people by using content to teach them the principles of digital business that Inbound Concepts uses with clients in ways that have never been expressed outside of meetings.

For someone like myself at this stage in my life, turning the metaphysical sides of life on and off is exhausting and false. Once I successfully integrated all sides of myself internally and in how I showed up in the world, I gained a renewed sense of purpose, direction, and understanding. Most of the books I own are about business/money and metaphysics. Learning and expanding myself in these ways are my passions. This is how I spend my spare time if I’m not immersing myself in nature, creatively expressing myself, or somewhere eating well. So having a group on Coven Cloud that discusses magic and business made so much sense to me - two hot topics coming together in one place for discussion, Q/A, and community - chef’s kiss. Also, having a media outlet based on business, money, metaphysics, and magic will help more people.

Divine Intervention

I can’t sit here and act like this was all created by me. I am open to Divine intervention in business and all ways of life, and I receive it. I’ve been like this for most of my life, and I haven’t always listened to the Divine messages received, and I’ve learned the hard way because of that. Today I honor Divine messages and move on them. The progression and direction of Business Lair beyond the group was Divine Intervention.

The Buisness Lair Podcast

The third episode of Business Lair was released last week. I’m so proud of all the episodes published and upcoming. The podcast is available on all the major networks Anchor, Apple, Amazon, Spotify, Google, and more. Use this link to subscribe through your favorite platform.

Business Lair as a whole - blog, podcast, and community cover an array of topics related to business, money, entrepreneurship, spirituality, corporate climbing, and even sales. The first article includes additional topics, types of guests, and more details on what Business Lair is about.

Who Should Listen to Business Lair?

Business Lair is for spiritual explorers, business owners, and corporate climbers.   

What Types of Guests Will Business Lair Have?

Business Lair will be speaking with spiritualists, occultists, business owners, corporate climbers, sales professionals, and healers to learn what helps them and others get into the zone or get into the flow, as Abraham Hicks says. If you are one of these people, I want to hear from you. Please understand that we go deeper than how successful or amazing you are. We get spiritual and emotional on Business Lair.

What topics will Business Lair Cover?

Business Owners

• Digital Marketing

• Digital Operations

• Purpose Alignment

• Monetization and Revenue Generation

Corporate Climbers

• Navigating the Corporate Landscape

• Boundaries and Burnout

• Salaries and Bonuses

• The Sales Zone

Spiritual Explorers

• The Energy of Money

• Protection

• Soul Alignment

• Money Rituals

• Belief Systems

• Money Spirits

• Intuition and Money

• Astrological Money

Previous Episodes

Click the images to access the previous episodes of Business Lair.

I will be honored if you subscribe to Business Lair and engage with me on the content. Thank you for being here.

I grew up in a house where I felt consistently misunderstood, rejected, unaccepted and unwelcome, and because of this, I let go of the need to belong. I have always felt comfortable alone. In my late 20s and 30s, I did a lot of healing work to clean up a list of issues from childhood, but those “issues” have transmuted into something new.

The Cycle

I'm always talking about the onion of healing and how when you release one layer, and another one is layer is there with fresh new "opportunities." As time went on, various incidents occurred that let me know just how alone I was when at times, it seemed like I was physically or virtually surrounded by loved ones. Let me know if anything resonates.

• Your friends say, "OMG, girl, you can come to me," yet your sadness is so thick, and your darkness is so dark that you both know they can't handle it anymore.

• You learn to keep things to yourself, so over time, your friends are clueless about your suffering, and when big things happen and everything gets exposed, they are shocked and in disbelief.

• You experience some amazing things, and your "friends" change the subject, say something condescending or take a jab at your good news.

• You keep the good and bad to yourself just to be neutral.

• Over time you learn that you need to compartmentalize your life experiences and that everyone can't know everything about you. 

• You are right back to square one of feeling consistently misunderstood, rejected, unaccepted, and unwelcome so being alone is like being back at home. Due to the nature of the circumstances, no one truly knows you. 

• Eventually, they get to pick and choose from the selection of your personality that you put on display. In your most vulnerable times, they can see past the display case and into the workroom. You then feel overexposed and ashamed. 

• Every now and then, someone will see your brokenness and express gratitude for helping them feel less alone. 

• You might even put the shards of glass in a book and interview about it, but that is only after those shards of glass have been refashioned into Kintsugi art filled with the gold of your wisdom and healing. 

• There are new glass pieces, some large and some small. They were once opportunities shaped as onion peels that will soon be pieced together into a multilayered Kintsugi vase that will collect the tears of your next healing "opportunity" while also acting as a trophy for a battle won.

As people pick out the pieces of me from the display or within the workroom, they choose what they want and run with it. The best times are when they ask questions or engage in a conversation about what they saw. The worst times are when they take what resonates with their wounds without any dialogue. Platonically, romantically and familially, I love people hard. I've witnessed over and over again how that love makes it easier for my feelings to be hurt and how that easily spirals into a paralyzing depression. When you have mouths to feed and accomplishments to drive, you learn the signs of an upcoming depression and put up your hurricane shutters to protect your mind. 

These days I give people space to communicate through time and/or a direct question. If that does not happen, I get them out of my sight. I'm a driven person that works within social media, and I don't want their words or their face to disrupt my mind. I've got time to pick up broken pieces of glass and heal to conjure the glue to make Kintugi art, but I don't have time to be emotionally triggered by unexplained emptiness. 

Connections

It's easy for me to connect with people, and bonding has never been an issue. My people palette is diverse because I've been through so many different types of highs and lows. I can meet most people where they are without judgment. The realist in me knows I can never get the same out of what I give others. To keep me safe, my ego has started configuring custom boundaries for everyone I deal with because a Candace with no limits is the yellow brick road to heartbreak. 

People in my life recently tried to hold their presence and acceptance as a value in my life. I'm not like most people. I don't deal with social hierarchies, and there are only three bonds in my life that I will not release at this time. If you aren't them, I will heal and be okay. The misunderstandings and lack of communication might annoy and confuse me, but that passes quickly. My mouths to feed and accomplishments to make keep me distracted. Being rejected, unaccepted, unwelcome, and alone are like home. 

"When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing" - Charlie Smalls, “Home” performed by Diana Ross & Stephanie Mills

The Self-Love Key

Those feelings most would associate as unfavorable gave me the push toward consciously working toward true self-love. Misunderstandings, rejection, being unwelcome, and being unaccepted pushed me inward. My childhood issues were the foundation for helping me become a stronger woman. I used to hang on to the words of people outside of me - the good, bad, and ugly. People outside of me have given me great encouragement, love, and support, but in my experience, the very same people can also give you the opposite. This is often discovered when my footing isn't solid, and I'm vulnerable - not grounded and relying on my self-love and acceptance. When I least expect it, love, support, and encouragement are replaced with misunderstandings, rejection, and lack of communication. 

So what is a woman to do in these times? I used to allow it to get to me, cry, worry, and desperately seek communication and understanding. The woman in me today cannot. I might ask a question, but by the next break of day, this situation has transmuted into a journal entry, blog post, or entry for an upcoming book. No matter how painful, confusing, or strange, getting clear about your feelings is essential to release what is there. After clarity, I call all my love and energy back into me while doing my best to block out the distractions and drama that used to rule me in the past. 

Lack of self-love, understanding, and self-awareness will keep you reaching for the approval and acceptance of others who are committed to misunderstanding and villainizing you while misaligning you with your spirit. You eventually become a puppet for someone else's happiness. The best time to be a happiness puppet is when tending to people who happen to be infants. 

The road to self-love is not easy. You have to get clear about who you are - the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful while loving all of those parts of you thoroughly because no one knows your purpose, heart, and intentions the way you do. When your self-love is vibrating at its highest, no one will love you more - even on your worst days. Unconditional self-love is something no one can take away from you. 

The key to self-love is to keep working on it, to make it a permanent part of your lifestyle. We change, and the world around us changes, so why wouldn’t we be upgrading our emotional systems? Within the past year, my personal life has been so dramatic and, at times, traumatic that I have changed and, on some levels, transformed. I am not the person I was in September of 2021. Loving the highs and lows of the new me is extremely important. The worst thing that can happen to anyone is for everyone to turn against them, and because they lacked self-love and self-awareness, they joined and followed the crowd. I’ve been there. It’s not pretty. Know yourself better than anyone else, and love yourself more than anyone else. The people who will try to tell you and others about you are likely clueless and projecting their own wounds and insecurities.

Visit Soul Trine and download my book, 30 Days to Unconditional Self-Love. Because so much has recently happened in my personal life, I will be going through this program all over again because I am due for a refresher.